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Satanic Panic (2019)
RLJ Entertainment
Blu-ray Disc Released: 10/22/2019
All Ratings out of
Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Review by Mike Long, Posted on 10/24/2019
When discussing movie genres, it’s often mentioned that horror and comedy are
similar in that they elicit specific, visceral responses from the viewer.
Another trait that these two categories share is that they are both
difficult to master. In the grand
scheme of things, very few horror movies are actually scary and very few
comedies are outrageously funny.
(In fairness, I do find more funny movies funny than I find scary movies scary.)
Given this, the coup de grace, the horror-comedy, may be the most
difficult trick to pull-off.
Providing some laughs while also finding a way to give the audience the chills
is a challenging endeavor indeed and only handful of movies have gotten it
right. But, filmmakers keep trying
and thus we have entries like Satanic Panic.
It’s Sam’s (Hayley Griffith) first night delivering pizzas and she’s quickly
learning that the job can be challenging and that most people don’t tip.
Eager to score some cash, she volunteers to take some pies to an address
which is outside of the normal delivery zone.
(If it’s outside of the normal delivery zone, why was the order taken?)
The eager Sam soon finds herself in a posh neighborhood with large
mansions. Despite the opulence in
sight, she’s once again stiffed on the tip.
Determined to find justice, Sam enters the house to request a gratuity
and finds herself in the midst of a cult which is led by Danica (Rebecca
Romijn). This group of devil
worshippers is seeking a virgin for their ritual and they set their sights on
Sam, who suddenly finds herself fleeing for her life.
Will she be able to survive the night?
On paper, Satanic Panic looks promising.
Director Chelsea Stardust (probably not her real name) makes her
feature-film directing debut here, after serving as assistant to horror guru
Jason Blum for years. Along with
Romijn, the cast includes several other familiar faces including Jerry
O’Connell, Jordan Ladd, and Arden Myrin.
Screenwriter Grady Hendrix is an accomplished author who’s known for
quirky horror novels. Cults
represent a horror-movie subject which is familiar, but hasn’t been done to
death. The film’s “the rich are up
to no good, that’s why they stay rich” theme is by no means original, but it
feels poignant in today’s social climate.
Given those attributes, why is movie so flat right out of the gate?
Sam is appealing and it’s nice to have a main character who isn’t a
jackass for once. When she reaches
the house, it’s clear that that movie is supposed to take off, but it simply
doesn’t. We are simply treated to
scene-after-scene of Sam fleeing from danger and the cult members bickering
amongst themselves. The redundant
feel of the story gets no help from a pace which feels quite slack at times.
The finale does shake things up a bit, but it’s not only too little too
late, but the big twist falls completely flat.
And then we have the film’s tone.
As noted above, the horror-comedy is quite the high-wire act and Satanic
Panic plummets to its death.
There are a couple of funny lines, but overall the humor is quite obvious and
generic. However, this is one of
those movies which clearly thinks that it’s hilarious, as it keeps trying to be
funny. The horror aspects are much
more scatter-shot. Satanism and
cults should be creepy, especially when they are preying on unsuspecting
minimum-wage workers, but Satanic Panic never takes that angle.
Instead, it decides to throw in the occasional gore scene.
Not only does this add nothing to the film, it’s going to completely turn
off those few people who arrived her strictly for the comedy.
The ending does get dark, but it’s still not scary.
Satanic Panic
is presented by Fangoria, the recently resurrected horror magazine.
Back in its heyday, Fangoria had a line of home video releases and
a quick glance at that list reveals a bunch of movies that I don’t remember.
I fear that Satanic Panic will soon join that list.
It’s super-cool that a well-known publication like Fango wants to
promote movies, but they should make better choices.
Speaking of well-known, what are Romijn and O’Connell doing in this?
If you want to see a movie which takes a skewed look at how the rich prey
on the poor, then check out 1989’s Society.
It’s not great, but it does at least think outside of the (pizza) box.
Satanic Panic
did succeed in making me craze pizza on Blu-ray Disc courtesy of RLJ
Entertainment. The film has been
letterboxed at 1.78:1 and the Disc contains an AVC 1080p transfer which runs at
an average of 22 Mbps. The image is
sharp and clear, showing no overt grain and no defects from the source
materials. The colors look good,
most notably the cult’s red robes, and the image is never overly dark or bright.
The depth works well and we get a good level of detail here.
The Disc carries a DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track which runs at 48 kHz and
an average of 3.2 Mbps. The track
provides clear dialogue and sound effects.
The surround and stereo effects work well here, most notably those which
highlight sounds coming from throughout the house as Sam is trying to escape.
The finale provides a smattering of mild subwoofer effects.
The Satanic Panic Blu-ray Disc contains a few extra features.
“The Making of Satanic Panic” (6 minutes) offers comments from
actors Griffith, Romijn, O’Connell, Ruby Modine, Jordan Ladd, Jeff Daniel
Phillips, Arden Myrin, Screenwriter Grady Hendrix, and Director Chelsea
Stardust. They give a brief
overview of their character or comment on the tone of the film, but we don’t get
much else. There is no on-set
footage or anything of the sort.
“Sam & Judi” (5 minutes) allows Griffith and Modine to discuss how they tackled
their roles. “Girl Power” (3
minutes) delivers an examination of how female-centric the production is through
interviews with the cast and creative team.